


ahead of schedule

by holsmi



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Swearing, barry bluejeans puts the romance in necromancy, lup pov, the umbrastaff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 22:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20265631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holsmi/pseuds/holsmi
Summary: Taako fails a dexterity saving throw during an easy fight, and the umbrastaff snaps, or:Lup's free.





	ahead of schedule

The power was, it was intoxicating.

Like taking a breath after holding it too long. Like sitting by a warm fire on a freezing day. All familiar and all foreign and all too much, all at once.

Escaping that dark, oppressing, curtained room and being able to hear and see and feel unimpeded was an _ exhilarating _feeling that there were not words to describe, not really. She could see the world, she could hear Taako, and Magnus, and Merle effortlessly. 

Lup rocketed out of the shattered Umbrastaff in a flare of fireworks, raw power and pure spectacle _ (phantasmal and resplendent, indeed)_, to confused shouts and panicked expletives.

Her ghostly form raced to Taako, who was rushing to his feet from where he’d landed in the wake of the Umbrastaff exploding. The Umbrastaff, she could see a little bit away (what was left of it, anyways), was shattered. She’d give him all hell for that later, but for now, “Sure did take you long enough to figure it out, dingus!”

Merle behind her said, “Figure out what?”

Lup turned and saw Magnus with a _ sick ass _ lance, primed and pointed at her, older than she’d ever seen him, and then saw Merle sans one flesh arm. Shit, she thought, the boys have had it _ rough. _

Magnus tightened his grip on the lance and said, “Start talking, Red-Robed-Umbrella-Lady. Who are you, and how do you know Taako?”

With one finger, she reached out slowly, telegraphing her movements, and pushed the tip of the lance away from her torso before looking to Taako. He was brandishing a wand, also pointed at her (but, where’s the Krebstar?). She looked back at Magnus and said, “Magnus, it’s me, it’s L̷̠͖̈̌u̵̝̙̓͌p̶̱̓. Taako, Merle, I know I’ve been gone a while, but it’s still me. I got lost looking for the gauntlet, but I couldn’t go on knowing the damage m̵̤͈̌ȳ̷̯̦ ̸̌̀͜r̷̲̝̒e̷̯̜͗l̷͙̥͊́ḭ̸̣̽͠c̴̻̍ was doing to the world."

“Why’d she go all staticky, there?” Merle asked.

She moved backwards until she could see all of them. Rapidly looking at each of their face, and not seeing an ounce of recognition, Lup said, “Staticky? You couldn’t hear me? Taako, what? Is this F̸̮̿̂i̵̼͕͊s̴̗̱̈́h̸̳͂e̸̪r̷̙̻͊͛?” She paused for a moment, “So you didn’t realize I was in there, Taako?”

“Nah, homie, that dipshit,” he pointed at Merle, “knocked me over during the fight. Thanks for wrecking these thugs, though, that was dope. Not as dope as I’d have done it, natch, but I’m not an ancient evil skeleton-wizard.”

Lup looked at him for a long moment, trying to process this apathy, this callousness that Taako never once directed at her and feeling her lich form flicker briefly before looking at her surroundings. There _ were _ several bandits, bodies strewn on the side of the road. Trees lined either side of the road, and she could see the high peaks of a city a few hours walk away. 

She was silent, contemplative, and then, “Wait, you called me a _ Red Robe. _ Why?”

Magnus answered her, more relaxed now that she hasn’t shown any sign of attacking (and he’s right, she’d never attack these jackasses, they were _ her _ jackasses), “That’s what we call your order, the ones who created the relics. Sorry to let you know, though, but we’re destroying them. Your friend seemed chill with that.”

Lucretia, then, she thought. “So none of you remember that y̷̗̗͋ọ̵͆ȕ̵͈̰̋ ̴̛̳̤͝a̶̝͆͋l̷͙̮̚͝s̵͔͊̓ͅo̶̧̞̎ ̴͈͍͝c̶̰̒r̴͉͗e̸̝̎a̷͖̝̽͊t̷͓͠ͅe̷̜͚͒̈d̶̦̈́̄ ̶͓̈́ͅr̴̪̓͜e̵̙̓̂l̶̙͓͌ĩ̴̡̖ç̴͠ŝ̶͎̪̂ with t̴͈̃́ḧ̶̦͎́̚e̶̖͛̓ ̶͎̈͒l̶̺͚͛i̸͙͘g̶̢̀͊ȟ̸̨͖̾t̵͔̅̒ ̸̛̖͚o̶͉͂̅f̵͓̦͆ ̴̣͚̅ç̷͍͒r̵̻̞͋ẻ̷͎̾ả̸̦͝t̴̥̊̒i̷͉̳͒o̶͔̬͝ň̷̛͕ and now ṫ̷̫͖̕h̶̩̆͘ȅ̴̩͌ ̷͇̇̓ḧ̷̘́u̸̥͚͆͂n̷̜͋͝ģ̴̇e̷͔͈͠r̵̺͈̄̈́ ̴̼̎i̴̺͙͗s̴̨̆ ̵̬̌̂g̷̨͇͋ơ̴͕̑ḯ̸̙̜ṋ̸̅ġ̵̙ ̸̺̣͛͊t̴̡̼̿͌o̷͉̚ ̶̘͑c̵̫̣̑͘o̸̬̐m̸̲͠ͅe̶̟̽ ̴̖̊b̵̘͉̿à̵̘͕͒c̴̣͔̀̐ǩ̶̘ ̶̟̊̓͜a̷̬͓̓̕n̸̢̓d̵͔̅ ̶͍̝̉j̶̡̛͖u̴̦̔s̸̙͐̚͜ṱ̵̔ ̸͙͆̾w̷̗͂̂r̶̠̒e̸̱̻̾c̷̬͔̓͛k̵̥̥̈́ ̶̨̊u̴̳͎̿š̴̪͝, huh?”

Merle said, “So we drank that jellyfish shit for nothing, then, huh? Still just a bunch of static.”

Lup ignored him, “Okay, you dweebs are not going to literally any help right now. You said I had a friend, what he another lich?” She was dead, so Fisher wouldn’t affect her, and the same would be true with Barry if he’d already burned his corporeal form. These guys, thoroughly and preferably alive, have a huge mental block that is just going to get in the way.

With Barry, though, she’d have hope, and they’d work out the rest together.

Merle raised his hands, wood and flesh, and wiggled his fingers, “Yeah, and he’s a real cryptic jackass.”

Taako mimicked him, “All _woooOOOoooOo_ and _‘Are you afraid’_ _woooOOOooooOOoOo._” 

If Lup were in a body, she’d have swooned.

“Yep, that sounds like someone I know, really puts the romance in necromancy, you know what I mean? Where’d you last see him?”

\------

Lup followed their directions to the last place they saw Barry. The boys were outside of Neverwinter, but their last encounter with him was out near the Woven Gulch. It wasn’t much of a lead, but it’d been ten years since they last saw each other (and hella yikes on that one, _ ten years _), a few days of searching won’t kill them. As if perma-death was still a thing, let’s be real.

She kept to the shadows, mostly. It was for the best; a disembodied skeleton is still a shock for anyone in any reality, regardless of how chill the plane was towards magic.

Except for that planet of disembodied skeletons they saw during that one cycle towards the end of their journey. That was rad as hell.

She spent most of her time wandering, lost in thought and slowly collecting needed components for another weapon. She loved that dumb umbrella so much, even if it did super-vore her, and then she barely got to use it before she beefed it. 

While she wandered, she workshopped her plan: step one, find Barry; step two, find out what he knows; step three, reevaluate from there. It was a shit plan, she knew, but it was crystal clear what Lucretia was doing. 

Gathering the relics, combining the light, then cast a shield around this planet and cutting off the rest of the planar system and--

Her train of thought ended as she felt a frankly _ ridiculous _amount of spells, charms, and wards protecting and hiding the existence of this cave. She felt the magic flow around her, but it did not stop her. It was so familiar; she remembered the feeling of Barry’s magic almost as well as the feeling of his fingers on her skin. 

Lup walked through the barrier into the cave, and followed a green glowing light through it. She hoped she’d find Barry at the back of the cave, and was disappointed when he wasn’t there. Well. Not all of him, anyways. 

She found a relatively sparse living area, with a small space for eating, a small space for sleeping, a chest of clothing (_oh, hello, denim_).

But, at the center of this room was a robust desk with tomes open and haphazardly left across it, potions in varying stages of completion, and above it a wall containing a map with notes and locations pinned to it, triangulating the location of the relics. Apparently, Lucretia found them all, save for the Animus Bell.

Next to the desk, however, was the sexiest bit of necromancy she’d even seen: a large tank filled with translucent liquid, containing the fully developed form of one incredibly naked Barry Bluejeans.

She put a hand on the glass of the tube and said, “Excellent homecoming, Barold. Stellar death crimes, extremely hot.” 

And she felt before she heard his ghastly form enter the cave and, on seeing her, gasp. 

Lup turned and looked at Barry, barely containing her joy, her jubilation, “‘Sup, babe?” before flinging herself at him.

Barry caught her, as best as his spectral arms could. “Lup? How, what? I-I, I don’t understand. How?”

She pulled away, only slightly, and put a hand on his cheek. He, too, was a lich, all skeletal and donning a flowing red cloak. 

“Barry, love of my life and my undeath, did you know that a lich is pure arcane magic?”

He looked at her, confused, and responded, “I mean, yeah? That’s kind of the point, right?”

“Barold?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m trying to tell you that I got hella vored by the Umbrastaff.”

If he had a face, the whole thing would be scrunched up. He tilted his whole skull backwards, still holding her, and sighed at the ceiling.

“I really hate how much sense that makes. It makes so much sense. How’d you get out? Taako had it, last I knew.”

“It broke during a fight. I think Taako must have spectacularly failed a dexterity save.”  


Barry chuckled at that before leaning into her again. She pressed her mouth against his; once, twice, and a third time before pulling back. “I’m here now, Barry, and I’m not going to leave, ever again. I promise.”

His mouth turned upwards in facsimile of a grin, and didn’t resist when she pulled out of his grasp. She turned back to his desk and his wall of research. 

Lup smiled back and said, “Looks like we’ve got a lot of work and not a lot of time to do it. Fill me in.”

He moved until standing next to her, shoulder to shoulder, and began to speak.

**Author's Note:**

> y'all i haven't written a fanfic in like eight years oh noooo here we goooooo


End file.
